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A Few Quick Things, vol. 8

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By the way, it’s snowing again. In April… after Easter… during the second week of baseball season. But I’m not supposed to complain about it. My only two options, apparently, are STFU or move to Florida. There are no other acceptable courses of action. Love it or leave it, baby! Here’s a shot from our back door. But whatever. Unless I’m willing to immediately quit my job, sell my house, pack my bags, and move to Tampa… I have no right to complain.

Speaking of baseball, I once again paid for Gameday Audio from MLB this year. It only costs $20 for the season, and you get access to every radio broadcast of every game for every team. I’ve been listening to the Reds since Spring Training and enjoying it. I might enjoy it a little more, of course, if they could win every once in a while. But it’s fun. Some quick thoughts:

  • It’s great to hear Marty Brennaman, who’s been calling Reds games since I was 10 years old. He sounds exactly the same, and still speaks his mind and stirs the shit. Love it. He’s a direct connection to my kidhood when I was completely and absolutely obsessed with the Reds and baseball. He’s still doing the games, almost 45 years later!
  • I don’t know any of the players, which is a big part of the challenge. At some point, during the mid-90s, I disengaged from the sport, and know almost literally nothing from that point. So, there’s a fairly steep learning curve. But I wanna do it. I tried a couple of years ago, and it didn’t take. I’m giving it another shot.
  • I’ve always loved listening to baseball on the radio. I think I like it even more than watching it on TV. I can be having the worst week ever, with aggravation stacked upon aggravation, and after a few innings of baseball on the radio…. aaaah, I can breathe again.

Yeah, yeah, I know. Baseball is boring. Shove it, dullard.

Last Saturday I bought a new car. Toney’s inheriting the Suzuki, and I’m now driving a 2015 Chevy Cruze. It has 24,000 miles on it and seems 100% factory new.  Two things I noticed right away: the seats are about one million times more comfortable, and the car is incredibly quiet on the interstate. I don’t think I realized how noisy and windy the Suzuki sounded. The Cruze seems almost silent. So… I’ll drive that bastard into the ground, and we’ll go from there. Pass the beer nuts.

As soon I got home from the dealership, I went on the SiriusXM site and subscribed for six months. I’ve never had it before, and the preview channel in the new car said I could get six months for $30. Some quick thoughts:

  • I was super-excited about the 1st Wave channel, which plays early New Wave stuff. However, after just a week I’m less excited. For one thing, they play WAY too much Missing Persons. They were a C List band even when they were at their peak. 1st Wave is very heavy-handed with the Missing Persons, and apparently believes they’re as important as the Pretenders and Elvis Costello. And they just generally play too much dancy bullshit like Information Society, and crap like that. I find myself frowning at the radio within ten minutes, and seeking something better.
  • There’s a channel called Lithium that plays 90s alternative, they say. But I’ve never been able to string together more than five minutes there. Remember that bullshit band Live? They play a lot of Live, and Seven Mary Three. It triggers a very quick frown, as well as a furrowing of the brow.
  • Classic Rewind is pretty good. It’s just classic rock. For some reason, I can lock-in there better than with the so-called alternative options.
  • And Hair Nation sounds like something I could get behind, but it’s always shit like White Lion, etc. Seriously?

What do you listen to on SiriusXM? I don’t get Howard Stern, ’cause that costs something like twenty bucks more. I wish there was a channel that played 80s indie rock. Like Husker Du and the Replacements and Dinosaur Jr. But I ain’t finding it. There’s a lot of stuff on there, though. I’ll keep digging.

Last night, at exactly 10 pm, my phone rang and it said the call was coming from Salem, Oregon. No way I’m answering that crap, but it only rang once. Weird. I put the number into Google and there was a long conversation about it. People all over the country were saying they receive calls from the same number, on Sunday nights only, at exactly 9:30 or 10:00. Never 9:32, always 9:30. And it only rings once or twice. How freaky is that? Any ideas on what it’s all about?

And speaking of strange phone calls, I had a guy calling me over and over again who claimed to be a lawyer. He kept calling me by the name of a cousin, who I haven’t seen or spoken to since I was 12 years old, and was making all sorts of threats. He said he was going to come to my workplace and serve me with papers, and there was a judgment against me, blah blah blah. But he never called me Jeff or Jeffrey, he kept calling me by the name of that cousin. At one point he even said his full name, including his middle name, which is unusual. So, WTF? He spoke in an odd cadence like he was hosting some kind of late night Chiller Theater TV show. Like the fucking Crypt Keeper, or something. It was mildly unnerving. But it had scam written all over it, so I never called the guy back. Eventually he stopped calling. Pure scam, right? Right.

What’s the weirdest, most baffling phone calls you’ve received? That one from Oregon is bizarre. What is the point?? It makes no sense to me.

And I’m going to call it a day, my friends. I had to get up early this morning, and I’m already feeling it. I’m tired before the work week even begins. The coffee power is starting to fade, and fatigue is taking over. Oh well. I’ll leave you with a silly Question that might lead to a few laughs, maybe. Q: What is a phrase that is perfectly appropriate for the Easter dinner table, but never during sex? Make of it what you will.

I’ll see you guys again soon.

Have a great day!

Now playing in the bunker
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