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Publishers Clearing House, Jury Duty, and Dining Alone!

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Unfortunately, this one is going to be a quickie. In the not too distant past, this would be one of those “no update” days, but I made a vow to stick to the schedule, no matter what. So I’m pushing through, my friends. Even though I don’t feel all that great, and would like nothing more than to just sack out on the couch until it’s time to leave for work. Oh well. Enough of my bawl-baby bitch whining. Let’s get to it.

I can’t remember how it happened, but Publishers Clearing House is starting to take over my life. A year ago I don’t think I even knew they were still around, and now they’ve got their tentacles all up in everything. I don’t know for sure, but I think they sent me some snail mail saying I could already be a winner of $1000 per day for the rest of my life. And I foolishly provided them with my email address. You know, just in case. And now it’s gotten out of hand.

It started as an occasional message and has now ramped-up to about 25 emails per day. And I know, intellectually, that I’m not going to win anything. But I feel like I’m so far into it now… it would be a shame to maybe lose it all because I didn’t jump through just one additional hoop. So, I keep jumping.

They want you to search for things using their search engine. Or play games, like fake scratch-off lottery tickets and slot machines, etc. If you complete a certain number of games, and a certain number of searches per day, you’ll be given additional entries into the next $1000 per day drawing. Also, you receive “tokens” as you play ‘n’ search, and you can use the tokens to enter additional drawings that you’ll never win.

As I type this, I have more than 10.5 million tokens. I’ve entered drawings for pickup trucks, Amazon gift cards, Cracker Barrel gift cards, and many other things. And I haven’t won jack shit. But if I quit now… See how it goes?

Like I say, it started out with one email per day. But it’s like the Hydra, or whatever. You cut off one head and two grow back. Now there are so many goddamn heads I can’t keep up with it all. And I feel like an idiot for devoting any more than two or three minutes per day to it. But I keep searching, and I keep scratching, and I keep spinning. I’m pretty fast with it at this point. But still… it’s too much. I feel like a freaking idiot.

Do you have any experience with these insidious monsters? Please tell us about it.

Our younger son had to report to jury duty today. We haven’t heard from him yet, so we don’t know what’s going on. But I’m a little jealous. I’d like to be on jury duty every once in a while. I’ve only been called twice during my entire ridiculous life. The first time was for Los Angeles County, a few months after we moved to Pennsylvania. They allowed me to skip it, which was nice of them. And another time I was called to Scranton and sat in a room with a bunch of other people for about eight hours. I read an entire Dean Koontz novel that day. Finally, a judge came in and told us we could go home. Apparently, some kind of plea deal was reached, and they didn’t need us after all.

And that’s my entire jury duty experience. When I worked at Peaches Records in Greensboro I had to participate in hearings having to do with shoplifting in our store. We had a standing court date — like the second Tuesday of every month or something — and one of us had to appear. A few times I had to take the stand and be cross-examined by lawyers. Fairly unnerving. I also had to take two lie detector tests while working at Peaches, but that’s a different story for a different day.

Do you have any interesting jury duty tales to tell? If so, please use the comments section. Do you get called often? It seems like some people get called over and over, while others (like me) almost never do. What’s your input on this one? Anything? Also, have you ever had to take the stand, like in a freaking episode of Perry Mason? Tell us all about it, won’t you?

And finally, I’m going to West Virginia on Thursday. I’m going by myself, and it’s a long, long drive. But there’s an upside to it: I can stop where I want, eat what I want, and listen to what I want. These are all good things, often underappreciated.

Anyway, it got me to thinking about something. Somebody I work with told me they can’t sit in a restaurant and eat a meal alone. So they always get it to go. But I eat alone all the time, and it doesn’t bother me in the least. What are your feelings on this? How about going to a movie by yourself? I don’t do it, because I don’t go to movies hardly at all, but I wouldn’t have a problem with it. Please tell us your thoughts on this subject, if you’re so inclined.

And I’m going to call it a day here. Turns out it wasn’t a quickie, after all. Huh, interesting.

Have yourselves a good one.

I’ll be back on Thursday.

Now playing in the bunker
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