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We’re Heading To Atlantic City, And Don’t Like To Gamble! Will It Be A Good Time?

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atlantic cityIt seems improbable and somewhat bizarre, but Toney and I are apparently going to Atlantic City in a few days. It’s something we booked during the summer. And we don’t “book” things. I mean, seriously. What are we, the Vanderbilts?

I can’t even remember how this plan came together. Toney likes the ocean during cold weather months, and so do I. So, we were probably talking about that over a few craft beers one Saturday night, and before we knew it… we were booking shit, all willy-nilly.

But it’ll be fun. I’m looking forward to it. We’re staying at a nice place, for not all that much money, and have dinner reservations at Gordon Ramsay Pub & Grill. Here’s the menu. What would you go with? I haven’t decided yet. However… the lobster mac ‘n’ cheese is a definite as an appetizer. That sounds goddamn delicious.

And the next day I want to have lunch at the original White House Subs. I saw it featured on The Sandwich Channel (or whatever) years ago, and it’s stuck in my brain. If you have any thoughts on that place, I’m all ears.

So yeah, the whole thing is based on food and drink, as usual. But the hotel should be decorated for Christmas, and I think it’ll be a good time. I have no interest in gambling, but do have a vested interest in food and drink. It’s how I’ve been able to maintain my powerful upper-body.

I don’t believe I’ve ever been to Atlantic City. I have a vague notion that it’s a little on the seedy side. Am I wrong? Will we be standing on our patio, arm in arm, as the medical waste and adult diapers wash ashore at sunset? Will we be accosted by bombastic assholes wearing wife-beaters and mirrored sunglasses? Or am I being unfair? I’ll have a full report upon our return, needless to say.

Speaking of gambling… What’s your relationship with that particular activity? I don’t care for it. It stresses me out, and I get no pleasure from it, whatsoever. It’s a vice that doesn’t register with me. My wiring doesn’t leave me susceptible to it, and I don’t really understand how other people get so carried away with it.

When I worked in California we had a lot of meetings in Vegas, and always stayed at Treasure Island. And some of my co-workers would stay up all night, literally wouldn’t sleep at all, playing cards and losing thousands of dollars. How?! Credit cards? I knew approximately how much those assholes were making, and could never understand how they weathered such a thing. If I lost $2500 via one evening of asshattery, I’d torment myself into a stay at a psychiatric hospital. And there’s a very good chance I’d lose my car.

Another time we were in Chicago, and they sent us sailing out into the Mississippi on a gambling boat. Always with the gambling! I didn’t want to go, but had no choice. Before we climbed aboard that flotilla of sadness, however, I allotted myself $40 for gambling. I wouldn’t spend a dollar more, I promised myself. And even that was heartbreaking.

Yeah, my forty bucks was gone before they’d even taken the ropes off the boat. We were still tethered to the dock, and I was done. So, I got to sit there the rest of the night watching people from my office blow enormous amounts of cash on really stupid shit. It was too cold to go outside, so I just sat on a stool watching folks who couldn’t afford it gamble their money away. What a magical evening!

Do you like to gamble and wager and “play the ponies,” etc.? Do you have any related tales to tell? I know a guy who went to jail because of gambling-related shenanigans. He was an old co-worker who was always trying to talk me into accompanying him on one of his maniac Vegas trips. “Everything’s comped!” he assured me. “Don’t be such a pussy. It’ll be a blast!”

Needless to say I never went with him, and he eventually got himself into some kind of situation that resulted in a brief jail stay, the loss of his job, and the end of his marriage. I probably still have his mug shot saved on my computer somewhere. He didn’t look like he was having a blast in that photo, that’s for sure.

Please share your gambling stories in the comments. Also, if you have any thoughts on our quickie Atlantic City trip… lay ’em on me!

Thanks for reading this. Please don’t forget about our Amazon links, while doing your holiday shopping this year. I’ll put a big ‘un right underneath this update, so there’s no confusion on how to find one.

I’ll see you guys again soon. Maybe before A.C., but probably after.

Have a great week!

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