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What Smells Take You Straight Back To Childhood?
My previous job was based inside a huge manufacturing facility, a place so large it had its own zip code. And as I made the long trek to the cafeteria every day, for another round of mediocre-at-best...
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What Do You Remember About Kindergarten? Anything?
I was five in 1968, so I guess that’s when I went to kindergarten. Right? It wasn’t offered in the actual schools back then, so I went half-days to a church basement. There was nothing religious about...
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Have You Ever Bought Any “As Seen On TV” Products? What Was The Verdict?
I don’t buy anything, except ebooks. And food, lots of food. But what about you? Have you ever purchased a product from a TV commercial, or infomercial, or something similar? If so, how did it go for...
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A Few Quick Things, vol. 76
I’m so glad Christmas is over. I loved it when I was a kid, of course, but now it’s just another layer of obligation and stress in my life. And I don’t need an additional layer, thank you very much....
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Yet Another Thing I Don’t Understand
You know what I don’t understand? People who have a GIANT issue with other people looking at their cell phones. I’m not talking about texting while driving, or people bumping into one another because...
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Some Random Thoughts Straight From The Bunker
Actually, I’m at the dining room table. But who’s keeping track? Toney’s working downstairs this evening, and the bunker is off-limits for a few hours. Both hooligans are also at work, so it’s just me,...
View ArticleWhat Are Your Thoughts On This Commercial? Also, Have You Ever Tried To Bribe...
I see this ad all the time. In fact, it feels like I see the same ten or so ads, over and over. But this one gets through, and causes me to consider it. It’s not really annoying either, which is the...
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Have You Ever Had Major Surgery? I’d Be Freaking Out, Man!
Yesterday I was talking to a guy who’s about to have some kind of crazy back surgery. He explained it to me, and it sounded terrifying. They’re going to remove one disc… fuse two others together… take...
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A Few Quick Things, vol. 45
When I was a kid there was an insurance man who came to our house every so often. And now that I think about it… why? I’ve been an adult since late 1980, according to the standard definition. And...
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A Few Quick Things, vol. 687
We got about eight inches of snow last night, and the boys are out shoveling the driveway as I type. I made a decision that I’m not doing it anymore. We have two healthy males, ages 20 and 18, living...
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A Few Quick Things, vol. 571
I had a dream a few nights ago that I was driving through a toll plaza, possibly on the Pennsylvania Turnpike. It definitely wasn’t the Dunbar Toll Bridge, where I was a highly-decorated toll collector...
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A Holy Shit! Concert, Your Thoughts on Solo Travel, and Stuff You Never...
I could very easily turn this one into another prolonged whine fiesta, but will spare you guys. Nobody needs more of that shit in their lives. Right? Right. It goes counter to my nature, but I’m going...
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A Disconcerting Night on the Town, and Your Thoughts on Tribute Bands
The Zombies show on Saturday night was interesting. The touring band played with the two main guys for about an hour, doing hits and rarities from their early British Invasion days, as well as a few...
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A Doggie Scare, the Greatest TV Shows Ever, Funny Memoirs, and Shitting In A Box
I thought we were going to lose our beloved Black Lips Houlihan a few days ago, but he bounced back and is better than ever. He had another “episode” last week, and I was convinced he’d suffered a...
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A Few Quick Things, vol. 811
It’s a beautiful day here in the Upper Exasperation Belt. Possibly the most perfect day of 2017, so far. And I’m sitting in the public library typing out this update. There’s an old man running the...
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Let’s Build The Perfect Bar! I’m Gonna Need Your Input, My Friends
Back before every one of my hopes and dreams burned to the fucking ground like a 1980 Richard Pryor, I used to daydream about things. Like… maybe owning a little neighborhood bar somewhere. Even though...
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To Be Perfectly Honest, We’ve Had Better Weeks
Toney’s been in the hospital. On Sunday she left work because she felt horrible: nausea and a tightness in the chest. Then she started throwing up. I thought she was having a heart attack, and took her...
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If They Brought ‘Em Back, Would You Attend A Public Hanging?
I saw this photo on Facebook a few days ago. It was reportedly taken at the last public hanging in West Virginia, on December 16, 1897. Apparently the event turned into a drunken free-for-all, and...
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Some Things I Don’t Like, And Some Things I Do Like
Remember when I was briefly writing under the name Bill Oates? It didn’t last long, like many things I’ve started, but the plan was to post stuff at the Oates blog that I didn’t want attached to my...
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Share Your Business Travel Horror Stories and Thoughts On Corporate Training...
Last week I had to travel for work. They’re sending us, two at a time, to a sprawling city-sized building about five hours from here, for “management training.” I knew there would be approximately 35...
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